Tuesday, January 28, 2014

And then something marvellous happened...

It can be emotionally, spiritually, and even physically taxing to convince yourself an issue doesn't exist or will resolve itself on its own. 

Last year after a 'bump in the road' I knew I had to get myself into a better place. I had to learn my own limits, be honest with other people and admit when I just had too much on my plate. Apparently a happy mind has;

'A sense of contentment.
A zest for living and the ability to laugh and have fun.
The ability to deal with stress and bounce back from adversity.
A sense of meaning and purpose, in both their activities and their relationships.
The flexibility to learn new things and adapt to change.
A balance between work and play, rest and activity.
The ability to build and maintain fulfilling relationships.
Self-confidence and high self-esteem.'

Sounds good to me. But to get that I needed to learn to say 'no' and ask for help.

Facing your flaws means looking at patterns in your life. Remember Albert Einstein, 'Insanity: doing the same thing over and over again and expecting different results.'

Whatever your objective, you must define it, create a plan for achieving it, and set up a timeline for its completion in small, measurable steps. Charting these achievements can boost self-esteem as much as attaining your ultimate goal, because, to put it simply, a success is a success, and the more of them you have, the more favourably you're likely to view yourself. When you take deliberate measures toward a goal, you'll have the fortitude to think—and do—big.

This isn't easy when you are walking around feeling like an exposed nerve. 

This week admitted to my writing group that we had a problem and I didn't know how to sort it out, I even managed to ask for help. Yesterday, I emailed, wrote a blog post and put on Facebook that I'm no longer happy to be the designated driver. To be honest I felt like I was cracking a nut with a sledgehammer. Surely I was being oversensitive? Surely people will be offended by a forceful and loud no more?

I did the usual things, exercise, gave myself achievable tasks, tried not to indulge in worrying, repeated it will pass.

Those who know me will know I'm not one for crying. But I admit I've had a bit of a sniffle over the response. Something marvellous happened;

Practically the entire writing group responded with messages of support and suggestions on how we were going to resolve the problem. My beautiful, amazing little girls aged only 11 and 13 came with me to university. They were well behaved and said that if my nerves are bad next week, they will come will me again so I don't have to face the night drive until I'm back on an even keel. I received a touching email from one of the gentlemen at my writers group. A lovely lady who goes to uni with me asked if I was ok and suggested I ring her or maybe we meet for lunch. Coffees and catch up have been arranged.

I gave myself some time off work and went to an art class in the afternoon. Weirdly enough I managed to finish an article and a draft of a story when I got home in half the time.

When my girls asked for a full English Breakfast for tea, the veg in the pan was forgotten and I was more than happy to crack out the frying pan. We had fresh baked cookies for dessert. 

I spent the evening forgetting about chores cuddling with my daughter watching a film.

I honestly can't describe the sweet and sour mix of emotions I feel. 

First art class in years.

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