When you are feeling overwhelmed

One minute you are on the top of the world. The next moment your oldest daughter tells you she needs a long list of ingredients for her catering lesson at six thirty in the moment. Your youngest daughter needs forty ten pence pieces for her charity stall at school. Your inbox is full. And suddenly you have released that the deadline for lots of projects start looming.

Once you have stopped screaming.

Step away for a few minutes.  Have a cup of tea, stretch, maybe even poke your head outside.

Ask yourself what do you need to do first? Notice need not want. Then do that one thing. So this morning, I got the ingredients and the float money – but did not engage in the row with the kids about giving me notice. I sent some emails and rescheduled my diary. I am going to do the party shopping.

So why am I doing the party shopping?  I know I will get more done in the wholesaler’s coffee shop than at home. A change of environment can help. Don’t let your environment add to your overwhelm.

 One thing I do struggle with is losing the “done” mentality. “Done” is a myth. “Done” is the tomorrow that never comes.

Many people who read this blog know I struggle with the black dog and a few other mental quirks. Being overwhelmed, depressed, things playing on your mind? They are all feelings. Remember feeling overwhelmed is temporary.

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Quick Thought

“Overwhelm can mimic panic, and make you feel like it’s unending, unbeatable. It’s not. It is temporary, it is situational, and you have the final say in whether your day is defined by it.”

MARISSA BRACKE

Writers - How to write that bio?

I’m currently in the process of trying to encourage the members of my writing group to write their bio’s and get a head shot. You would think I was asking people for their permission to pull out their molars with pliers. I think some of the members would prefer it.

A professional looking bio is an incredibly useful thing to have in your writing arsenal. I have known so many people who have spent weeks polishing a short story for a competition only to miss the deadline because they didn’t have a headshot or bio. For the creative writer tutor, when this happens it is more than a tad irritating. That’s why I try to get members to write and update a bio every year.  

Ideally I would like members to have three bios, plus a headshot.

Most of the time, someone else will dictate the length of your bio. They will likely tell you how many words you can use to ensure that yours is the same length as other bios. Because of this, one bio will not do. You need three bios:

• One sentence bio
• 100 word bio
• 250 word bio

Lead in with your name. People need to know who you are before they hear what you’re all about.

Your most noteworthy details should go in the first sentence. Remember: people on the web rarely read more than the first and last sentence. So bite the bullet and admit you are a writer!

Touch upon your most significant accomplishments.  A bio is not a CV; it is simply a quick summary of who you are. If you have space, mention them. If not, ignore them.

 Include your contact information. You should have a line in your bio that makes it easy for people to contact you. Stick to the norm and put your contact info in the last sentence.

Remember use the third person. Since your bio is something other people use to describe you, make it sound like someone else is talking about you. “John Jones is a writer”

Get feedback. A great way to test your bio is to have someone else read it. Ask for their feedback. Does it accurately state who you are and what you do?

Keep it up to date. You’re constantly moving forward in your career, and your bio should reflect that.

When the world looks grey.

This may surprise you, but no one really knows exactly what’s going wrong with the brain in depression. For Parkinson’s we can point to the death of dopaminergic cells in the substania nigra. For Alzheimer’s we understand it is caused by the growth of amyloid plaques and neurofibrillary tangles. We know it is a chemical unbalance. But we don’t understand depression in the same way.

What I do know is that I slept badly last night, my dog felt the need wake me this morning by chewing my toe. When I opened the curtains I thought the illness was back. That somehow despite my hated 5k runs (wobbles) on Saturday's, my daily walks, smoothies and affirmations. It was back. Because when I looked out of the window fear gripped my heart. All the colour seemed to have bled out of the world. It was like looking into that familiar grey claustrophobic view of the world. 

It was in fact fog. Real, physical fog!

Most people's first thought when looking through the glass would be the obvious one, fog. But that's the problem with fears. They lie dominant, but have the loudest voice when you least expect them. Irrational beliefs can sound so convincing.

Today, I have two meetings, one small deadline and some writing to do. On a personal note I have a few errands to run. Tonight I have a lecture at university. I'm nervous and edgy. What I really want to do is hide from the world. Instead, I'm up, dressed and writing my blog. 

The clouds will clear or they won't. I can't control that. The only thing I can control is my own thoughts and behaviour.

Quick thought:

“Promise me you'll always remember: You're braver than you believe, and stronger than you seem, and smarter than you think.”

A.A. Milne or Winnie the Pooh depending on your view on writers.

WRITERS - The importance of keeping to office hours.

There is no doubt I enjoy working from home. No office politics. No one else setting my hours.

Escaping the structure of a staffroom or office may have been one of the reasons that made working from home attractive. However, when counting flexibility as an advantage lack of structure can be a distinct disadvantage. The boundaries of work hours are difficult to maintain.

For the most part, I have absolutely no difficulty at all in motivating and disciplining myself to work from home.  So much so that my home business could literally takes over my entire life if I let it. I frequently have to remind myself that my decision to work from home was supposed to enhancement of my family life. 

This week has been hard one and its only Wednesday. A call from my editor on Friday meant that I worked Saturday and Sunday. My only break the ‘Are You Sitting Comfortably?’ evening.

Monday I was at my laptop at 7 am, and I had a meeting with a friend in the hopes of chasing new work, back at the computer, university in the evening then crashing into bed. On Tuesday, I was at the laptop at 9:30 until 5:30 and then quick dash to a lecture at the university. 

But its Tuesday I wanted to talk about actually. When the email came from my editor saying she was unhappy with the latest samples I had spent all weekend working on, there was no one I could talk to in the office.  

When the landlord finally came round to look at the problems with the property and settled down to have a good chat about his woes, and looked at the kettle. He did not hide his shock – and quite obvious disbelief – when I told him, he could make himself a drink, do what he wanted, but I was facing a deadline and HAD to get back to the computer.

When he sent the plumber round later in the afternoon, it was the same conversation.

I think this will always be a problem. I don’t pretend to know the difficulties of being a plumber and having to work in other people’s houses. But I have been working from home for several years now, and I know the importance of keeping to office hours you have decided on for that day. I'm just grateful that I don't have to book an afternoon 'holiday' to sit at home and wait for a plumber.

I have an advantage that I don’t have to start at 9:00 am work till noon, take  one hour lunch break and then work through until 5:00 pm.  I can set whatever routine and structure as I like.  The important thing is to be disciplined in sticking to my routine, whatever I decide it is. 

I don’t like working between 3:30 and 6 pm. The children have come home, they want to talk about their day, and I’m supervising homework and making tea. Tonight I have promised that I will take the girls swimming.

So that means, I can’t have a chat with the plumber AND meet the deadline AND not have to work 3:30 to 5 pm AND go to the lecture. Now obviously if it was a friend, I may be tempted to put the kettle on. In fact an unexpected chat with a friend has sometimes increased my productivity. But I try to choose what I let distract me, I try to maintain control.  The point is, things will only distract you if you let them! The interruptions made yesterday a hard day, every time you walk away from the computer it takes time to collect your thoughts again when you get back to it. 

Don't allow 'work' time to be encroached on by outside influences.

Quick Thought:

Catch Your Breath

When interrupted, it's easy to get caught up in the "rush" of the person who is interrupting, for they undoubtedly feel their request is urgent. In reality, however, most interruptions are not genuinely crisis-driven, and it can serve everyone best to take a little time before taking action.

http://www.mindtools.com/pages/article/newHTE_94.htm

'Are You Sitting Comfortably?' A Fabulous Evening

There is no better encouragement for a writer than having a short story performed by the White Rabbit team on one of their ‘Are You Sitting Comfortably?’ evenings.

White Rabbit is committed to providing a platform for short stories and short story writers. And they certainly go all out to make local writers feel special. I cannot recommend strongly enough submitting your work to them.

It is a strange and magical feeling to hear your story performed.

I usually feel a bit guilty when my family come to a spoken word event to support me. It’s not everyone’s cup of tea. So it’s gratifying to go somewhere and KNOW that the family will have a fabulous time too.

I was pleased to see some fellow writer friends, Margaret Jennings fabulous and slightly gruesome murder story and Shirley Golden amazingly entertaining character driven story, made my evening.

http://www.thewhiterabbit.org.uk/projects/are-you-sitting-comfortably/

Are you being pressured to write a best seller?

Yesterday I was feeling discouraged, today I'm thinking of laying blame!

I've been chatting to some other Mum writers, and I have completed a non official survey. In other words I asked a couple of nosy questions.

Q. Do our significant others read our work?

A. Well, maybe, if it's flash fiction or if we read it to them.

Q. Do they understand or are they interested in the difficulties in gaining a publishing contract?

A. No

Q. Are they supportive?

A. Yes, in a 'please don't ask me to read anything' way.

So you may be wondering where am I going with this strange rambling blog post?

The writers I conducted my 'non scientifically proven survey' on have heard comments similar to the ones below:

'I'll take the kids to the park, you write the best seller.'

'I don't think I want to move to Scotland and live in a castle like JK, I bet the broadband will be terrible.'

'First thing I'm going to do when you make it big is tell my boss where to go.'

It's nice, sort of. 

It's supportive, I suppose. 

Everyone would argee that it's great to have someone believing in you. 

But....it does make one feel like a lottery ticket. And laughing aside, it does add a pinch of pressure to the proceedings. Plus a splash of guilt. (Most of us know that the big cheque may never, ever, arrive.)

Is it any wonder that the moment we have our chance to write we look for a job, sign up on the PTA, agreed to the sleep over? We sabotage ourselves.

Maybe I'm wrong?

Quick thought

"Mediocrity scares me. It's the fear of not being as good as you want to be. If you give over to that fear, it will sabotage you. As much as I can, I try to use that fear to guide me."

Chris Pine

Yesterday, I was feeling discouraged as a writer.

Yesterday, I was feeling discouraged as a writer.

I am currently enjoying a number of successes. So why isn't that enough? 

The majority of my books are educational resources sold to directly to schools. They aren't made into delightful shiny textbooks that I can take pictures of and put on websites or Facebook. I don't see them on the shelves of book shops. 

I write film reviews, articles and blog content. I provide fillers for a couple of magazines. You know the stuff, 'Ten things to do with baking soda.'

I get paid for the majority of my work. Therefore, I should be satisfied.  But, as it so often happens in life, yesterday I did not feel satisfied. I'm proud of the fact that an agent took the time to phone me and give me some advice on a non fiction project. She asked me if I wanted the 'book,' or to do something online and possibly earn a little more money. I of course wanted both.

I dream of seeing my books printed, by a publisher on the shelf of a bookshop. Is it the right dream for me?

My latest project is a fiction book for the 5-8 age range. During a university lecture dealing with common mistakes in people's work, my mood dropped. I knew I would have to do a lot of work to get my manuscript up to the publishing industries standard. Doubts began to creep in. Did I have the skill to transform my manuscript? And even if I did, would any agent or publisher like it enough to pick it up?

I was left feeling more than a little darned fed up.

Then I met up with a friend to have a little chat about social media. My friend is buzzing at the moment and is currently deciding whether to go down a tradition or self publishing route with her work. Witnessing someone else's enthusiasm made me question myself more.

Was I honestly feeling discouraged? Or, was I feeling a little annoyed at the fact writing is harder than I imagined? I suspect the latter.

When I look back over this blog, I am making progress. The name of the blog was aiming for a publishing deal. I've secured lots of deals. 

Quick thought:

Why not choose to be encouraged? Literally speaking, to be discouraged means to not have courage. It means to lack the presence of mind and spirit to face whatever difficulties, or challenges, lie ahead of us.

To be encouraged, we must act “in” courage. Emotions aside, we must take action despite—and sometimes in the very face of—our fears and reservations. Regardless of the source of our discouragement, we must choose to act with courage—to act with the belief that we will succeed, and none of our efforts are futile.

Coach Felicia