I'm feeling unsure about whether I'm doing exactly the right thing at this point in my life. I suppose like many people I expected to be 'grown up' by now. Not only did my recent writing retreat give me time to write, find a new work opportunity, it also allowed me to spend time in the company of beautiful people.
Margaret who runs the retreat coped with the stresses of being alone and in charge in a foreign country. She braved the French roads - thank you Lord that I didn't have to drive! Provided good tasty meals. Was an excellent host and a great tutor. And she did it all with a calm gracious manner.
Barbara an ex teacher and two times cancer survivor broke her word count record on the retreat, and decided to take the NaNoWriMo challenge. A perfect example of 'feeling the fear and doing it anyway.'
I wrote, chased work, got my poetry anthology ready for publication, and reflected on what sort of 'grown up' I would like to be. I wrote a couple of poems, 15000 words of which 2000 words I'm pleased with. I also had lots of dreaming time to solve a plot problem.
My dear friend Lynne popped in to see me on the Monday of my return. My husband had decided to return to the family home for a week and surprise me with creating an 'oasis of calm' so I can concentrate on writing. Lynne's joyful laugher over how you need to cause destruction and mayhem in six rooms, plus garden and drive before producing a calm room lifted my spirits. Lynne also renewed my faith in God by being an angel and finding my ironing board. To clarify, my husband managed to lose my ironing board.
I felt blessed by the emails and Facebook funnies from friends and colleagues. My younger sister is expecting her first baby soon. Babies are in themselves miracles we take for granted!
So here is my list of what I want to be when I grow up!
Be the lady who encourages others with a cheerful perspective.
Accept and freely give physical affection.
Stay present in the moment and live life instead of living past.
Learn to use new technology.
Stay fit and energetic with exercise as much as possible.
Read and learn continually.
Avoid talking about my health problems and current physical status.
Stay sweet and not get bitter.
Be gracious and forgiving and grateful.
Learn to state my own needs.
'I think that people who wait to know if they're doing all the right things before they start doing anything end up doing nothing, mostly out of fear and self-sabotage.'