Frustration

I am taking deep breaths and praying for patience this morning.

Yesterday, I was the model of activity. But my technology decided to hinder rather aid.

Edited my manuscript on the computer - yeah.

Couldn't print it out to go over with a red pen - no.

Designed my new web site - yeah.

Couldn't save template and lost it - no.

Started working out my business plan - yeah.

Couldn't print it out or get the values to stay in the box - no.

It is so frustrating when life is one step forward and two steps backwards.  I gave up around 12:30 last night. 

The question is, am I frustrated with technology or my own inadequacies? I truly believe that life is a set of skills, and with determination we can master those skills. Then you start clicking, nothing happens and you want to throw the thing through the window.

I have an hearing problem, not volume - so no help available from hearing aids. I find it hard to hear certain frequencies. The hearing specialist says that my hearing is similar to being tuned between radio frequencies. Not that I'm aware of it. It only comes up during mispronunciation, other people get frustrated when I fail to repeat a word back correctly.

I have tried to learn a language four times. At school I remember being called in before my options, Mr Webb gave me a chocolate digestive and informed me that the language department had managed to allow me to drop German. I cried, and promised to try harder. Mr Webb said it would be impossible for me to try harder, and because of my nature and determination they were worried that my other subjects would suffer. But after my pleads said he would think about it.

I of course, studied hard on my own, and then tried to impress him with my German. I would have been better if I had kept my mouth shut. I was off the course.

At college I tackled Russian. Again it ended with the tutor asking to have a little chat. While working in Kiev I was proud to get to the point where I could read a little Russian, understand what people were saying to me. But when I opened my mouth no one could understand a word.

I then had a go at speaking Fersi because my friend was from Iran and her mother couldn't understand English. She came over to take her granddaughter to school, and was so lonely we tried to teach each other. We would spend the morning cooking and chatting thinking we were doing great. Then my friend would come home, and we would often find out that we were having to different conversations. I talked her into volunteering in the kitchen with me for the church, she'd been helping for five weeks before she found it was a Christian group - she would have been in trouble with the law at home. I was a bit more successful at her teaching me belly dancing.

Recently, I had a stab at French. I had an opportunity to practise yesterday, he didn't understand a damn word.