Tuesday, June 25, 2013

Waiting causes the OCD jitters

It feels like the dreaded August when I was 18 and waiting for my 'A' Level results. Would my life begin? Would I be off to university?

I’m not exactly sure how it happens. Many of my friends comment on how many opportunities I apply for. Or my 'oh well' to rejection, but what they may not know is I frequently become a stark raving loony-tunes nuts crazy after an interview.

“They haven’t emailed yet.”
I know.
“They still haven’t emailed yet.”
It’s only been five minutes since I last checked.

My stomach churns, in fact sometimes I have actually thrown up.

So what happens to me? Why does obsessive-compulsive behaviour take hold of an otherwise positive person’s body and brain?

I think it's because I've absolutely no control over what they do or how soon they do it. Or maybe because given the choice between give me the good news or the bad news I will always vote for bad news first.

So it's back to the sensible grind stone and keep plugging away. Except that this morning it's different. I'm writing my blog in bed with my pj's on - checking my emails after every sentence - waiting for news about the You Me and Everyone project and, peer reviews on my second none fiction book while cuddling up to my beautiful 11 year old who will find out today if she made the rounders team.

It will be interesting to see if we will still be sane at the end of the day.

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